a fact about me.

i love fizzy pop incense. i was first introduced to it at the paper moon in branson, mo. my heart was shattered when i used my last one. but while i was in flagstaff, co over the summer, i found another little shop that had fizzy pop incense!! i was so teeming with joy!!

Shattered Like Glass

In the beginning of the universe, there is darkness and dwelling in the darkness is Chaos. Chaos is the harsh ruler of the stars in the sky who covets all the light. Now in the midst of the stars, there is one star the others proclaim to have greatness. This great star, called Dà qǐ

[1], slowly gains power and fights against Chaos until Chaos is destroyed. Dà qǐ becomes the emperor, keeper of the light, and the stars are free to flourish and fill the night. The feeling of loneliness begins to set upon Dà qǐ; he is great and longs for another to share in his greatness. Dà qǐ forms a sphere from the milieu of the universe and names the sphere Sun. Sun serves as an excellent companion to the great ruler of the stars.

Then, Dà qǐ realizes there is no way to spread light through the universe, and all the stars are enveloped in darkness. Again, Dà qǐ takes from the universe and creates a sphere to which he gives the name Moon. This beautiful sphere receives the gift of soft light from Dà qǐ. Moon allows her light to glow upon the stars, and Dà qǐ is pleased. He is so full of delight that he creates yet another sphere, this one being smaller, and places it in the void open space. “This Earth is a gift for Moon,” Dà qǐ explains, “so she will never disregard the importance of her light.” The Moon assures Dà qǐ that she will always care for her Earth.

Now the Sun has become immensely jealous of the gifts Moon has received. He expresses his anger towards Dà qǐ by stealing all Dà qǐ’s light. The Sun convinces a group of stars to rebel with him against Dà qǐ and use the light to their advantage. The Moon suggests to Dà qǐ that he should not use force; she says it would be an advantage to use natural weapons of self control and tranquility to gain peace. In the midst of the fray, the Sun has a clear path to attack Dà qǐ. Sun swings a giant bludgeon and shatters Dà qǐ into minuscule pieces, like the breaking of glass. Moon shines her beautiful light towards the Sun to temporarily blind him while several stars bind him with powerful rope.

The remnants of Dà qǐ gently float to the Earth’s surface followed closely by the sorrowful Moon. When the pieces come in contact with the ground, they transform into beautiful nature; some pieces sprout roots and branches with leaves, others expand and harden in immense sizes. As Moon witnesses this transformation, tears come flowing from her and form a river in the Earth. When she notices two rather large fragments of the once Great Star that are not transformed, Moon dips the pieces into the river of her tears and directs her light onto them. As her light mirrors off the pieces, they beam with life. The first piece to receive life is called man. Man is harsh to the land upon which he stands; this makes Moon upset for she had promised Dà qǐ the Earth’s care. When the second piece is full of life, Moon calls the piece woman. Woman calms man and teaches him to respect the Earth. Moon tells man and woman to refer to the transformed pieces with branches and leaves as trees and the immense hardened pieces as mountains. Moon also instructs them to guard what has been created from Dà qǐ’s remains.

After Moon returns to the spacious universe, the stars, which were once under the reign of Dà qǐ, declare Moon as the Queen of their Night. Sun, however, is condemned by the stars and forced to carry the light over the Earth for all eternity. Moon assures the stars that she will always light the night, except once every so often when she is visiting man and woman on Earth and is not visible in the sky. From then on, Moon pleasurably shines her soft, beautiful light upon the Earth and brings it peace.

[1] Dà qǐ is Chinese (traditional) for “great star”



i wrote this creation story for my world literature class on september 24th, 2007.

Straining of the Mind.

Third period religion class. I sat quietly with my classmates. The Knowledge told us to clear our desks of everything. "Answer this question," he said. "What is real? How do you know?"

I hate those questions.

Of course he challenges us on purpose, and I don't mind it in the least. But there is something about answering questions like these that makes me furious. It might be the fact that I am human. Let me explain my reasoning.

In answering those first questions, I thought of the concept of time. What is it? Who decided it was going to be as it is? Why should I have to follow it? Time is just all. It is a continuous thread. There is no night and day. Or years or hours.
Then I begin to think of society as a human. Humans have this urge to suction themselves to structure. Our lives must be this way. This should be like this. You should look like this. You must follow this. This is how it must be. Or what? Or we die.
Not likely.
Humans are so incredibly dependent on everything to live. What if I didn't look at a clock for an entire day. Guess what. I don't believe I would die.
I sat at my desk not defining what is real. I defined what is not real.
I came to this conclusion:

Our lives are not real. Our world is not real. My thoughts are not real. If they are, then who says so?

These questions stretch my limits.

Today Is Winter

the clouds were beautiful. the temperature was fair. a light breeze was blowing through my hair. so i decided to take a picture.

all pictures taken by jem on 14 march 2008.

Current Songs of NOW

these are the cds that are currently playing in my stereo.

1. samoas (a mix by jem):
don't call it a comeback: motion city soundtrack: i am the movie
here it goes again: ok go: oh no
teenagers: my chemical romance: the black parade
make out kids: motion city soundtrack: commit this to memory
time of dying: three days grace: one x
boombox generation: motion city soundtrack: i am the movie
over & over: three days grace: one x
somebody told me: the killers: hot fuss
suddenly i see: kt tunstall: eye to the telescope
pain: three days grace: one x
riot: three days grace: one x
everything is alright: motion city soundtrack: commit this to memory
somewhere i belong: linkin park: meteora
the future freaks me out: motion city soundtrack: i am the movie
mr. brightside: the killers: hot fuss
kryptonite: 3 doors down: the better life
lips of an angel: hinder: extreme behavior
99 red balloons: goldfinger: the best of goldfinger

2. three days grace: three days grace

3. sum 41: underclass hero

4. the academy is...: almost here. AND. cute is what we aim for: the same old blood rush with a new touch

5. green day: warning

The Questioning

what are the days that take us away and make us feel like we are invincible. who are we to say that we know everything and are indestructible? we are strong, never broken, always together.
we are one with ourselves.
one with the Earth.
one with the Earth.
we are the Earth.
we are of the Earth.
the Earth compliments us. its beauty is indescribable. the color is green. peace. we speak of it. when will it come? when will it come and remain. within our grasp.
inconceivable notions are all that drift through the mouths of our leaders. who are they? the leaders. who says that these people know how to heal a broken world if they themselves were never whole in the first place.
no one.
no one says this.
we are left to defend ourselves against the people, not the nature, that we come from.
the Earth is peace.
a hidden peace.
waiting to be uncovered. to see the light of day before the sun dies. because the sun will die someday. it will die and we will be in darkness.
do we fear the darkness? some do. others don't. they think they can handle it.
they can't handle it.
we know not what we are. and much less of where we are going. where are we going?
tell me.
tell my brother and my sister.
tell the Earth.
we deserve to know.

The Less Serious Me

so don't hold me up now!! i can stand my own ground!! i don't need your help now!! you will let me down down down!! so don't hold me up now!! i can stand my own ground!! i don't need your help now!! you will let me down down down!!

prayer of the refugee: rise aganist

this song really gets me going.