p.s.

i'm taking creative writing this semester. part of the class is having a journal and writing in it every night. i've accumulated quite a few interesting entries. i think i'm eventually going to type my whole journal on here. that should be fun.

Resignation

i'm on speech team at school. this is one of the poems i selected for the first meet in october. it is a very wonderful poem with a strong meaning. i know i will remember this poem for a very long time.

Resignation
by Nikki Giovanni

I love you
because the Earth turns round the sun
because the North wind blows north sometimes
because the Pope is Catholic
and most Rabis Jewish
because winters flow into spring
and the air clears after a storm
because only my love for you
despite the charms of gravity
keeps me from falling off the Earth
into another dimension

I love you
because it is the natural order of things

I love you
like the habit I picked up in college
of sleeping through lectures
or saying I'm sorry when I get stopped for speeding
because I drink a glass of water in the morning
and chain-smoke cigarettes
all through the day
because I take my coffee Black
and my milk with chocolate
because you keep my feet warm
through my life: a mess

I love you
because i don't want it
any other way
I am helpless
in my love for you
It makes me so happy
to hear you call my name
I am amazed you can resist
locking me in an echo chamber
where you voice reverberates
through the four walls
sending me in to spasmatic ecstacy

I love you
because it's been so good
for so long
that if I didn't love you
I'd have to be born again
and that is not a theological statement
I am pitiful in my love for you
The Dells tell me Love
is so simple
the thought of you
sends indescribably delicious multitudinous
thrills throughout and through-in my body

I love you
because no two snowflakes are alike
and it is possible if you stand tippy-toe
to walk between the raindrops

I love you
because I am afraid of the dark
and can't sleep in the light
because I rub my eyes
when I wake up in the morning
and find you there
because you with all you magic powers were
determined that
I should love you
because there was nothing for you but that
I would love you

I love you
because you made me
want to love you
more than I love my privacy
my freedom my commitments
and responsibilities

I love you
cause you changed my life
to love you
because you saw me one friday afternoon
and decided that I would love you

I love you I love you I love you

something like being reborn.

wow this hasn't happened in a long while. i guess i've been too busy with my life. which is great at the moment. just in case you were wondering. anyways. the other reason i probably haven't posted in a while is because i haven't been in the mood of letting my mind wander off to wonderful places. meaning...i haven't had any inspiration or anything to write down. so i guess my mind has ventured back to that place because friday i had some stuff to write down.

these are just phrases that sounded nice. they don't really go together or anything.


mayhem speaks while
wind blows past
broken houses shattered
by words not reliable.

teeth chatter cold.
thoughts of mind are bold
against an angry past
strength of life cannot last.



these next ones actually go together.

Human Deception

stars light a faded sky
whisper willows wait

scratch that

how often humans speak
with mouths so contradiction
of why they are so wonderful
but yet not so at all.

hypocrisy, vanity
fools are not wise
vices disintegrate souls
once pure without flaw.

malicious in action
careless with words
wasteful and ungrateful
and tyrannical to the world.

14 November

my ecology class homework combined with my wit.

the witty parts are in a different colour.

okay let’s play SOIL JEOPARDY!!
25 September

Warning: this is not like real jeopardy. We pick the category and questions for our contestants and they are forced to answer.

The first category is SOIL EROSION.

Question one is worth 100 points. Let’s see how our contestants answer.
p.s. our contestants are all vegetables so they are going to have a hard time answering any of the questions correctly.

What are the three main causes of soil erosion?
The answer: water, wind, and ice (but really there are other agents that cause erosion also, these ones are just the most special)

Question two is now worth 200 points. The vegetable contestants only grumbled a little so, I wonder if they will have any response to this next question.

What are the affects of erosion?
The answer: Erosion reduces the amount of soil in an area and therefore limits the growth of plants. It also causes a loss of soil fertility by causing the removal of essential nutrients minerals and organic matter from the soil.

Question three is worth 300 points. We are not even paying attention to our contestants anymore. They are vegetables. They already know everything about soil because they LIVE IN IT (until they are sold and eaten).

What is the seriousness of soil erosion in the U.S.?
The answer: Approximately one-fifth of the U.S. cropland is considered vulnerable to soil erosion damage. The U.S. Department of Agriculture estimates that around 4.6 tons of soil are eroded from U.S. croplands and rangelands each year.

Question four is 400 points. I don’t understand why I continue to tell you this. You get the idea, and our contestants have already been escorted to the mouths of hungry audience members…I mean, they have been escorted home.

How do humans affect soil erosion?
The answer: Humans accelerate soil erosion with poor soil management practices. Humans accelerate soil erosion by removing natural plant communities during activities such as the construction of roads and buildings and by clearing large forested areas.

Question five, if you don’t know what this question is worth, then why are you even watching this retarded version of jeopardy? Obviously you have nothing better to do with your life.

How is water pollution related to soil erosion?
The answer: Water quality and fish habits are affected by sediment that runs into streams, rivers, and lakes. This is even worse if the sediment contains pesticide and fertilizer residue.

teenage life.

i just possibly had the best first weekend of school ever. that's not exaggerating. it's all due to four things: bubble, boys, best friends, and football.

friday night i went to a football game where i met lots of awesome people.
saturday i was at bubble's lake house with some of my best friends.
i got punched in the mouth while tubing.
all weekend we txted the boys we met on friday.
i was dead tired yesterday when i came home.

BLAH. my life. awesome.

product of spanish class.

please understand that my spanish class is not unbearable. actually, i enjoy learning spanish. it is a fact that every 2-5 seconds your mind loses focus on whatever it is you are supposed to be focusing on. i fit this pattern: wandering minds that like to entertain themselves. this picture is the product of today's wandering. some said that it looks like a dragon. i never intended this to happen. it turned out like that. there have been other ones that surpass this one in excellence, but i forgot to take pictures of them.

Shattered Like Glass

In the beginning of the universe, there is darkness and dwelling in the darkness is Chaos. Chaos is the harsh ruler of the stars in the sky who covets all the light. Now in the midst of the stars, there is one star the others proclaim to have greatness. This great star, called Dà qǐ

[1], slowly gains power and fights against Chaos until Chaos is destroyed. Dà qǐ becomes the emperor, keeper of the light, and the stars are free to flourish and fill the night. The feeling of loneliness begins to set upon Dà qǐ; he is great and longs for another to share in his greatness. Dà qǐ forms a sphere from the milieu of the universe and names the sphere Sun. Sun serves as an excellent companion to the great ruler of the stars.

Then, Dà qǐ realizes there is no way to spread light through the universe, and all the stars are enveloped in darkness. Again, Dà qǐ takes from the universe and creates a sphere to which he gives the name Moon. This beautiful sphere receives the gift of soft light from Dà qǐ. Moon allows her light to glow upon the stars, and Dà qǐ is pleased. He is so full of delight that he creates yet another sphere, this one being smaller, and places it in the void open space. “This Earth is a gift for Moon,” Dà qǐ explains, “so she will never disregard the importance of her light.” The Moon assures Dà qǐ that she will always care for her Earth.

Now the Sun has become immensely jealous of the gifts Moon has received. He expresses his anger towards Dà qǐ by stealing all Dà qǐ’s light. The Sun convinces a group of stars to rebel with him against Dà qǐ and use the light to their advantage. The Moon suggests to Dà qǐ that he should not use force; she says it would be an advantage to use natural weapons of self control and tranquility to gain peace. In the midst of the fray, the Sun has a clear path to attack Dà qǐ. Sun swings a giant bludgeon and shatters Dà qǐ into minuscule pieces, like the breaking of glass. Moon shines her beautiful light towards the Sun to temporarily blind him while several stars bind him with powerful rope.

The remnants of Dà qǐ gently float to the Earth’s surface followed closely by the sorrowful Moon. When the pieces come in contact with the ground, they transform into beautiful nature; some pieces sprout roots and branches with leaves, others expand and harden in immense sizes. As Moon witnesses this transformation, tears come flowing from her and form a river in the Earth. When she notices two rather large fragments of the once Great Star that are not transformed, Moon dips the pieces into the river of her tears and directs her light onto them. As her light mirrors off the pieces, they beam with life. The first piece to receive life is called man. Man is harsh to the land upon which he stands; this makes Moon upset for she had promised Dà qǐ the Earth’s care. When the second piece is full of life, Moon calls the piece woman. Woman calms man and teaches him to respect the Earth. Moon tells man and woman to refer to the transformed pieces with branches and leaves as trees and the immense hardened pieces as mountains. Moon also instructs them to guard what has been created from Dà qǐ’s remains.

After Moon returns to the spacious universe, the stars, which were once under the reign of Dà qǐ, declare Moon as the Queen of their Night. Sun, however, is condemned by the stars and forced to carry the light over the Earth for all eternity. Moon assures the stars that she will always light the night, except once every so often when she is visiting man and woman on Earth and is not visible in the sky. From then on, Moon pleasurably shines her soft, beautiful light upon the Earth and brings it peace.

[1] Dà qǐ is Chinese (traditional) for “great star”



i wrote this creation story for my world literature class on september 24th, 2007.

Straining of the Mind.

Third period religion class. I sat quietly with my classmates. The Knowledge told us to clear our desks of everything. "Answer this question," he said. "What is real? How do you know?"

I hate those questions.

Of course he challenges us on purpose, and I don't mind it in the least. But there is something about answering questions like these that makes me furious. It might be the fact that I am human. Let me explain my reasoning.

In answering those first questions, I thought of the concept of time. What is it? Who decided it was going to be as it is? Why should I have to follow it? Time is just all. It is a continuous thread. There is no night and day. Or years or hours.
Then I begin to think of society as a human. Humans have this urge to suction themselves to structure. Our lives must be this way. This should be like this. You should look like this. You must follow this. This is how it must be. Or what? Or we die.
Not likely.
Humans are so incredibly dependent on everything to live. What if I didn't look at a clock for an entire day. Guess what. I don't believe I would die.
I sat at my desk not defining what is real. I defined what is not real.
I came to this conclusion:

Our lives are not real. Our world is not real. My thoughts are not real. If they are, then who says so?

These questions stretch my limits.

Today Is Winter

the clouds were beautiful. the temperature was fair. a light breeze was blowing through my hair. so i decided to take a picture.

all pictures taken by jem on 14 march 2008.

I Know Why I Am Young

i awoke at 9 am on February 16th, 2008. in other words, i woke up and was filled with so much excitement that i could hardly breathe. that night i would be going to a dance. a long awaited dance. my dress was red. i paced myself by painting my nails, hands and toes. the colour: fire! fire! red. the next few hours were spent wandering around my house. talking with my friends. they are the best of company.

i began to get ready around 2 pm. i took a shower. washed my hair. cleaned my face. the dress was saved for last. before putting it on however, my feet carried me down the street to assist my friend in the choosing of her dress for the evening. my friend is myFACE. returning home, i put on my dress. it made me feel invincible, beautiful and on top of the world. when i get dressed to go somewhere special, i have a particular routine. there is a playlist on my itunes that is titled "off the wall." this playlist contains 25 songs that make me happy, excited, full of energy. i listen to the music and dance like no one is watching (because no one is watching).

myFACE walked to my house. we were dressed and ready to leave. pictures were taken. my mother drove us 25 minutes to another house. this house belonged to bubble. bubble was hosting a pre-dance party for those who were planning to join our excitement. the total was fifteen: eleven girls and four boys. there were only two girls with dates. the rest of us were going as a group. everyone spoke and ate and laughed. then it was time for our departure.

our party was one of the first to arrive at the dance. those awkward first moments just standing, mingling, and screaming hello to acquaintances. but not to worry. the gym filled quickly.

allow me to explain my thoughts on dances:
the music is a story in its own. i am not a fan of rap. the dj did a particularly good job of the music selection though. there was an even balance between the rap and the classic dance songs: cotton-eye joe, don't stop believein', shout. i was also very pleased to hear holiday by green day.

i go for the atmosphere. the people. the behavior. the faces. i go for feeling of not being able to breathe. running outside only to freeze. getting jumping cramps and sore calves. losing my shoes in a conga line. screaming at the top of my lungs. holding my hands above my head with my eyes closed.
i go to see the happiness in those around me. familiar faces.

the last song of the night was shout. i was very appeased. at one point i was on my back completely flat on the ground. the night was only enhanced by the pouring rain as we ran back to our cars. we drove back to bubble's house in a daze of exhaustion and being slap-happy. i was victim to both.

we had been told by the boys that they were planning something for us. first i must explain something: three of the boys play guitar and are in a band. the girls were asked to wait in the basement. nanna came into the room wearing a black curly-haired wig, a white mask, and a kfc chicken bucket on his head. he looked ridiculous. he was handed his guitar. it was obvious that he couldn't see very well because of the mask. nanna played for us. I LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT. it was all improvisation. after he changed out of the ridiculousness, the boys had to leave bubble's house. by now, it was after 12 am.

along with four other girls, i spent the night at bubble's house. we watched 10 things i hate about you. and fell asleep one by one. i was the last to close my eyes. but before i did. i sat still and thought of my night. the people i had met. the things i had seen. the noise i heard. the way i smiled. the way i felt. these are the memories.

Why Us? Why the World?

this is a persuasive essay i wrote regarding global warming. you are my audience.


Have you ever accidentally broken something valuable that belonged to your best friend? The guilt you feel is awful, and now you are frantically thinking of a way to make it up to her. You ask yourself, ‘How am I supposed to replace something with such meaning?’ You go outside to take a breath of fresh air, but while sitting on your porch, you realize the temperature feels different. It’s the middle of winter, and it’s 70 degrees. You look up at the stars, but only a few are clearly visible. You think, ‘Oh it’s just the weather,’ and go back inside. The problem is this: The weather changes and light pollution are both a part of global warming. Not only do we need to realize there is a global catastrophe threatening our existence, but we must also do something about it. Global warming is not freak spontaneous occurrence; it is a problem we have brought upon ourselves through disregard of our environment. I use the word “we” because this crisis was not caused by one single person. It was caused by all humanity.

Before we clean up our mess, we must understand what exactly we have done wrong. Many actions we perform every day have effects that result in one main cause of global warming. Carbon dioxide and other gases are released from simple things such as driving our cars and turning on a lamp. These gases naturally warm the surface of the planet by trapping solar heat in the atmosphere. The result is referred to as the greenhouse effect. This should be considered a good effect because it keeps the Earth warm and habitable. Nevertheless, we have abused the good nature of this process by generating excess greenhouse gases. The outcome is simple: temperatures are rising and polar ice caps are melting. Some people may think, “Well that is just too bad for the polar bears,” but the melting ice affects humans just as strongly. As the ice melts, ocean water levels rise. If this continues, many areas of largely populated land, such as California and the United Kingdom, will be under water. John Houghton, the co-chair of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, comments, “Global warming is now a weapon of mass destruction.” Our effects on the world have the potential to be more destructive than any type of war.

Another main cause of global warming, as said by NASA scientists Michael D. Mastrandrea and Stephen H. Schneider, is the destruction and clearing of our beautiful forests. God, of course, was very intelligent when He created trees and plants with the purpose of taking in what we put out. As we cut down these trees, there is less intake of carbon dioxide from the environment, so the gas is discarded into our once uncontaminated atmosphere. Also, when forests are cleared away, many natural habitats are destroyed. According to conservation biologist, Chris Thomas, from National Geographic, the lack of these habitats will most likely lead to the extinction of many species by the year 2050. Is this truly the way to handle a beautiful gift? What is the environment in the first place but a gift from God?

Have you ever thought about life on Earth after you’re gone? What about the lives of your children? Many times I have thought about these things. It sickens me to consider the hardships in the lives of my potential children and grandchildren. I am not sure I want to bring new life into this world because I would feel guilty for leaving it with to deal with this. This is our world. It is not something we can just throw away or leave for someone else to take care of. We damaged it and we are the ones who need to repair the damage.

You may be thinking how. How are we supposed to repair the damage? Hopefully none of you are thinking about going home and never using electricity again because that is just irrational. It would be impossible to completely discontinue all carbon dioxide emissions, but there are so many effortless ways to alter our actions. Unplugging things when you are not using them and turning off lights when you aren’t in the room are ways to conserve electricity that take literally two seconds. The only effort needed is the lifting of a finger. According to Rany Aker and Cindy Putnam from the Heath Goods website, most families pay between $280 and $310 for water heating every year. Your water heater uses more electricity than almost every other appliance in your house! Shorter showers are a very good idea.

Lastly, I’m sure all of you have been told to recycle at one point or another, but you might not have been told why it’s important. Our trash is discarded into landfills that are filling up fast. Many solids such as plastic and metal take a long time to decompose. Meanwhile, we are consuming things, such as water from plastic bottles, at such a rate that our trash cannot catch up! Recycling is not in the least bit difficult. All you need to do is find a place where you can take your items to be recycled.

I know all of these methods of repair are easy because I’ve done them all myself. I admit to being reluctant when I first heard all the hype about “being green.” I didn’t know what any of it meant or why I should care. As you can see, I know more now. I became interested because I realized our world is NOT going to last forever. What if the valuable item you broke was the environment? Now you know ways to make it up to your friend. It is your responsibility to repair the damage.


Cited Information
Guardian Unlimited. 2007. Guardian News and Media Limited. 7 October 2007

NASA. Mastrandrea, Michael D., and Stephen H. Schneider. "Global warming." World Book Online Reference Center. 2005. World Book, Inc. 7 October 2007

National Geographic. 1996-2007 National Geographic Society. 26 September 2007

http://www.healthgoods.com/education/Healthy_Home_Information/Water_Conservation/hot_water_conservation.htm

Hate Lines of BOREDOM

The classes that are strictly taking notes from a teacher talking in circles while those people called your pupils poke fun at the inconsistency of the class are the WORST. The teacher giving a break is an unheard of thought traveling through listless minds forced to absorb information. Desperate attempts to make our blood circulate again are sought after. One such attempt is a simple task in disguise: blowing the nose on your face. Feels like floating, as air reaches the underneath of our skirts. The Relief is wonderful.

The teacher takes discipline never. It is the quiet ones who suffer the droning voices of the outspoken fools. Once every thirteen classes we may possibly receive the inconceivable break from the monotony. We become animals and do not know what to do with ourselves as the change to breathe air again is so nonchalantly handed to us. Our bodies are entangled in our limbs as we rush to reach the door. “Few at a time,” mumbles the voice that causes such chaos. The unlucky ones must return to their pieces of metal and plastic fashioned as a “desk,” as the fortunate smirk.

The clock on the wall is a common rendezvous of the eyes. We have better places to be and better things to do with the time we call our life. At each glance, the miniscule second hand moves its slowest. Looking anywhere but the main focus of the room, otherwise known as a slate of board nailed to the wall, causes one to notice things. Those cracks are uneven. The colours are awful.

Our attention is called to scribble down the homework we will never even look at, let alone think about. These classes are even more torturing when they occur as the end of seven hours called a school day. They last forever, with no hope of rescue or escape in sight. We are stranded in a world of unknown meaning.

this was written in geometry class while i was persistently not doing my geometry homework.