Resignation

i'm on speech team at school. this is one of the poems i selected for the first meet in october. it is a very wonderful poem with a strong meaning. i know i will remember this poem for a very long time.

Resignation
by Nikki Giovanni

I love you
because the Earth turns round the sun
because the North wind blows north sometimes
because the Pope is Catholic
and most Rabis Jewish
because winters flow into spring
and the air clears after a storm
because only my love for you
despite the charms of gravity
keeps me from falling off the Earth
into another dimension

I love you
because it is the natural order of things

I love you
like the habit I picked up in college
of sleeping through lectures
or saying I'm sorry when I get stopped for speeding
because I drink a glass of water in the morning
and chain-smoke cigarettes
all through the day
because I take my coffee Black
and my milk with chocolate
because you keep my feet warm
through my life: a mess

I love you
because i don't want it
any other way
I am helpless
in my love for you
It makes me so happy
to hear you call my name
I am amazed you can resist
locking me in an echo chamber
where you voice reverberates
through the four walls
sending me in to spasmatic ecstacy

I love you
because it's been so good
for so long
that if I didn't love you
I'd have to be born again
and that is not a theological statement
I am pitiful in my love for you
The Dells tell me Love
is so simple
the thought of you
sends indescribably delicious multitudinous
thrills throughout and through-in my body

I love you
because no two snowflakes are alike
and it is possible if you stand tippy-toe
to walk between the raindrops

I love you
because I am afraid of the dark
and can't sleep in the light
because I rub my eyes
when I wake up in the morning
and find you there
because you with all you magic powers were
determined that
I should love you
because there was nothing for you but that
I would love you

I love you
because you made me
want to love you
more than I love my privacy
my freedom my commitments
and responsibilities

I love you
cause you changed my life
to love you
because you saw me one friday afternoon
and decided that I would love you

I love you I love you I love you

something like being reborn.

wow this hasn't happened in a long while. i guess i've been too busy with my life. which is great at the moment. just in case you were wondering. anyways. the other reason i probably haven't posted in a while is because i haven't been in the mood of letting my mind wander off to wonderful places. meaning...i haven't had any inspiration or anything to write down. so i guess my mind has ventured back to that place because friday i had some stuff to write down.

these are just phrases that sounded nice. they don't really go together or anything.


mayhem speaks while
wind blows past
broken houses shattered
by words not reliable.

teeth chatter cold.
thoughts of mind are bold
against an angry past
strength of life cannot last.



these next ones actually go together.

Human Deception

stars light a faded sky
whisper willows wait

scratch that

how often humans speak
with mouths so contradiction
of why they are so wonderful
but yet not so at all.

hypocrisy, vanity
fools are not wise
vices disintegrate souls
once pure without flaw.

malicious in action
careless with words
wasteful and ungrateful
and tyrannical to the world.

14 November

my ecology class homework combined with my wit.

the witty parts are in a different colour.

okay let’s play SOIL JEOPARDY!!
25 September

Warning: this is not like real jeopardy. We pick the category and questions for our contestants and they are forced to answer.

The first category is SOIL EROSION.

Question one is worth 100 points. Let’s see how our contestants answer.
p.s. our contestants are all vegetables so they are going to have a hard time answering any of the questions correctly.

What are the three main causes of soil erosion?
The answer: water, wind, and ice (but really there are other agents that cause erosion also, these ones are just the most special)

Question two is now worth 200 points. The vegetable contestants only grumbled a little so, I wonder if they will have any response to this next question.

What are the affects of erosion?
The answer: Erosion reduces the amount of soil in an area and therefore limits the growth of plants. It also causes a loss of soil fertility by causing the removal of essential nutrients minerals and organic matter from the soil.

Question three is worth 300 points. We are not even paying attention to our contestants anymore. They are vegetables. They already know everything about soil because they LIVE IN IT (until they are sold and eaten).

What is the seriousness of soil erosion in the U.S.?
The answer: Approximately one-fifth of the U.S. cropland is considered vulnerable to soil erosion damage. The U.S. Department of Agriculture estimates that around 4.6 tons of soil are eroded from U.S. croplands and rangelands each year.

Question four is 400 points. I don’t understand why I continue to tell you this. You get the idea, and our contestants have already been escorted to the mouths of hungry audience members…I mean, they have been escorted home.

How do humans affect soil erosion?
The answer: Humans accelerate soil erosion with poor soil management practices. Humans accelerate soil erosion by removing natural plant communities during activities such as the construction of roads and buildings and by clearing large forested areas.

Question five, if you don’t know what this question is worth, then why are you even watching this retarded version of jeopardy? Obviously you have nothing better to do with your life.

How is water pollution related to soil erosion?
The answer: Water quality and fish habits are affected by sediment that runs into streams, rivers, and lakes. This is even worse if the sediment contains pesticide and fertilizer residue.

snow patrol.

snow patrol. set the fire to the third bar. featuring martha wainwright.

i find the map and draw a straight line

over rivers, farms, and state lines

the distance from "a" to where you'd be

it's only finger-lengths that i see

i touch the place where i'd find your face

my finger in creases of distant dark places

i hang my coat up in the first bar

there is no peace that i've found so far

the laughter penetrates my silence

as drunken men find flaws in science

their words mostly noices

ghosts with just voices

your words in my memory

are like music to me

i'm miles from where you are,

i lay down on the cold ground

i, i pray that something picks me up

and sets me down in your warm arms

after i have traveled so far

we'd set the fire to the third bar

we'd share each other like an island

until exhausted, close our eyelids

and dreaming, pick up from

the last place we left off

your soft skin is weeping

a joy you can't keep in

i'm miles from where you are,
i lay down on the cold ground
and i, i pray that something picks me up
and sets me down in your warm arms

i'm miles from where you are,
i lay down on the cold ground
and i, i pray that something picks me up
and sets me down in your warm arms

this song makes me feel awesome.strange.in love.happy.lonely.sad...all the emotions above.

i love the way it makes me feel.

teenage life.

i just possibly had the best first weekend of school ever. that's not exaggerating. it's all due to four things: bubble, boys, best friends, and football.

friday night i went to a football game where i met lots of awesome people.
saturday i was at bubble's lake house with some of my best friends.
i got punched in the mouth while tubing.
all weekend we txted the boys we met on friday.
i was dead tired yesterday when i came home.

BLAH. my life. awesome.

this is the way i spend my money.

i bought three albums on tuesday 19 august 2008.

the first was fast times at barrington high by the academy is...

this album was released on tuesday. i decided it should be part of my collection. several reasons. i own almost here by the academy is... (released in 2005) but i do not own santi (released in 2007). almost here is a very good album. it is nice to sing with very loudly.

as for fast times at barrington high: awesome cd. the first song makes you want to listen to the rest. that is the way an album should be.

http://www.theacademyis.com/

almost here

santi
fast times at barrington high

the second album i bought was even if it kills me (released in 2007) by motion city soundtrack.

this is the reason i bought it: I LOVE MOTION CITY SOUNDTRACK. that's it.

i have not listened to this album all the way through. so i cannot give a valid review. what i have listened to so far remains true to their sound in their previous albums.

i own i am the movie (released in 2003) and commit this to memory (released in 2005). both are very near the top of my list. now i own all three motion city soundtrack albums. it makes me happy :)
http://motioncitysoundtrack.com/

i am the movie

commit this to memory

even if it kills me

the last and the best album i purchased on tuesday 19 august 2008 was weezer (the red album) by weezer.

i have to say it. I AM A WEEZER FAN.

i have listened to the red album somewhere around ten times now.

this is the track listing.

1 troublemaker

2 the greatest man that ever lived

3 pork and beans

4 heart songs

5 everybody get dangerous

6 dreamin'

7 thought it knew

8 cold dark world

9 automatic

10 the angel and the one

"troublemaker" and "pork and beans" are my favourite tracks but the rest are not bad at all.

this is an impressive album because i can listen to it straight through without wanting to change tracks.

http://www.weezer.com/

weezer (the red album)

I LOVE MUSIC. THAT'S IT.

words of wise.

however mean your life is, meet it and live it; do not shun it and call it hard names. it is not as bad as you are. it looks poorest when you are richest. the fault-finder will find faults even in paradise. love your life, as poor as it is.

henry david thoreau. walden.

i finished reading this novel five minutes ago. it was pleasant and interesting and captured my senses.

OLYMPIAN GOLD

I LOVE MICHAEL PHELPS!!

quick facts:

about to be the greatest olympic athlete ever. really sexy. freaking amazing swimmer. has already received two gold medals in the 2008 beijing games. really sexy. 23 years old. won six gold medals in athens. really sexy.

in case anyone desired to know...

i will be watching the olympic games today and every other day and avoiding my responsibilities.

pretty sexy.

i just felt the need to make a list of all my male celebrity boyfriends :)

PAUL WALKER. he's just always number one.
chris evans.
brad pitt.
robert hoffman.
emile hirsch.
william moseley.
james mcavoy.
taylor kirsch.
justin chatwin.
jamie bell.
james franco.
freddie prinze jr.
christian bale.
drake bell.
ryan gosling.
hayden christiansen.
max thieroit.

right now.

THIS IS OUR LIVES ON HOLIDAY.

green day. billie joe armstrong. mike dirnt. tre cool. awesomeness.

live. love. astrology.

taurus.
the bull. earth. fixed.
april 20 - may 20.
ruled by venus (the planet of love and action).
"the stabilizer."

compatibility.
best romantic matches: taurus, virgo, capricorn, cancer, pisces, scorpio (earth and water).
worst romantic matches: aries, leo, sagittarius, gemini, libra, aquarius (fire and air).
opposites attract: scorpio.
best buddy: virgo, taurus, capricorn, cancer, pisces.

taurus profile.
steady. sure-footed. stubborn. patient. very good listener. finishes what others start. lazy. eco-conscience. determined. dependable. sensual. appreciative of beauty. very in touch with earth. awesome.

ask me anything regarding astrology and i will talk forever.

...and the award goes to.

i'm a bit tired so some of what i'm writing might not make sense entirely...

today i watched "little miss sunshine." directed by jonathan dayton and valerie faris. staring greg kinnear, steve carell, toni collette, paul dano, abigail breslin, and alan arkin.
VERY GOOD MOVIE.
i'm not going to give a review or anything like that. i'm just going to tell about my favourite part.

as a teenager, when i am watching a movie with a teenage character, i want to see something resembling a teenager's actual life. or just some angst/angry emotions (especially for boy characters). there's not much difference.

paul dano plays the character dwayne, the older brother who reads a lot of nietzsche and has taken a vow of silence until he becomes an air force pilot. he also has obviously dyed black hair.

*watch out* i'm giving away the best part.

there is a scene in this movie where dwayne realizes he is colourblind. completely flips out. leaps out of the car. runs into a field. and breaks his vow of silence by screaming "fuck." BEST TEENAGE ANGST SCENE I'VE EVER SEEN!! i give all my props to paul dano for pulling it off. then dwayne proceeds to squat on the ground crying. and it was very good angry boy crying.

i couldn't watch it just once. immediately after the scene was over, i went back and watched it again. then, another time after the movie was finished.
i will most likely watch the movie again tomorrow and the scene five or six more times.

add this movie to your "movies i must see before i turn 30 because if i don't they might not be as funny" list. thank you.

part of my LIFE.

i believe it is about time for me to talk about my cousin. aka. my LIFE.
this is a piece of my conversation with him that occurred just a few minutes ago...
we are speaking of his low (almost nonexistent) masculinity and overbearing femininity.
p.s. he is definitely NOT gay.


me: that's because you think so damn much when most guys have their heads up their asses.

my LIFE: yeah that's me, your average woman. I can see it at the doctor's office, "Well your son is fine and healthy and all, but he seems to have no masculinity. "Some people may think this is a problem, but really it's up to you." And mom goes "Oh good! I really wanted another girl, this is close enough!" Then later when she returns and dad comes home he's like "Well how'd it go? No problems or anything?" Mom just sits there. . . "No, they didn't find any."
Now because I'm a teen, he's probably asking himself, "What the fuck is wrong with him??"


his explanation: that's what I get for mom dragging me to the fucking department stores and sitting me up in a chair while she tries different perfumes asking what I think!


i don't blame him either...

two topics tonight.

the first.
i LOVE stand up comedy. it completely fills one of the many holes in my life. here are the names of a few of my favourite stand up comedians:

dane cook
brian regan
mitch hedberg
bill cosby
jerry seinfeld

i have been watching this summer's season of last comic standing have enjoyed it so far. i usually don't pay attention to the female contestants because most of the time they are annoying and far from anything that makes me laugh. this season, however, there is one female contestant that i wouldn't mind being the last comic standing. iliza shlesinger. her sarcastic tone and hard attitude make her jokes amusing. also competing on this season of lcs is a beautiful male named jeff dye. oooh man he is pretty. and not to mention good at stand up comedy. i will never forget that neon green shirt he wore at auditions.

so enough of that.
here is the second.

my boy craziness is getting a little ridiculous. i don't even want to talk about it, but if i don't, i'll explode. ok...
bubble. you remember my friend bubble. her brother. the stud. two years younger than me. one of the cutest boys i've ever seen in my life. that's that. but if you really knew me, then you would know what all follows those words.

the end.

(bueno) steven spielberg movies

• the goonies


• jaws


• e.t.: the extra-terrestrial


• jurassic park


• the lost world: jurassic park


• schindler's list


• hook


• catch me if you can

and i know that you'll find love. i will possess your heart.

the excellence that is death cab for cutie.
this is the cover of their latest album: narrow stairs.
it is very calming and wonderful.

these are the songs:
bixby canyon bridge
i will possess your heart
no sunlight
cath…
talking bird
you can do better than me
grapevine fires
your new twin sized bed
long division
pity and fear
the ice is getting thinner


this band seriously fills a hole inside me that i never knew was there.
the words to the soundtrack of my life.
influences.

red is not just for roses.

i dyed my hair red on sunday june 8th. last summer and the summer before that, i dyed my hair purple. the colour was actually chilled plum but that sounds kind of lame. i used this brand called loreal colour surge. seeing as how i cannot find it ANYWHERE anymore, my guess is that it is no longer manufactured. so i thought, "ohh well," and picked one of the normal brands. my mother told me to only choose a non-permanent dye so that i won't look ridiculous when i go back to school. clairol natural instincts was the ONLY brand of non-permanent hair dye on the shelves at target. i already knew i was going to go red because that is the most abnormal of the normal colours. i didn't want my hair to be too red so i chose the colour redwood. this colour was meant for dark brown or black hair. i have light brown. i did that stupid little strand test thing where you cut off some of your hair and put on a little bit of dye. i really couldn't tell the difference.
anyways.
sunday.
my mom put the goop in my hair while i sat on a chair in the kitchen. after all that was over and the dye washed out, my hair was this really dark almost plum coloured amazing red. i was so happy. i walked outside in the sunlight and my head looked like it was on fire. i didn't tell any of my friends when exactly i was going to dye my hair so they were all surprised when they saw me.

and i just have to say: i love the attention i get from my hair. i just never admit it.

esta aqui

summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer
summer
summer
summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer
summer
summer
summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer
summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer
summer summer summer summer summer

one of the best songs of my life

BLIND MELON: NO RAIN

All I can say is that my life is pretty plain
I like watchin' the puddles gather rain
And all I can do is just pour some tea for two
and speak my point of view
But it's not sane, It's not sane

I just want some one to say to me
I'll always be there when you wake
Ya know I'd like to keep my cheeks dry today
So stay with me and I'll have it made

And I don't understand why I sleep all day
And I start to complain that there's no rain
And all I can do is read a book to stay awake
And it rips my life away, but it's a great escape
escape...escape...escape...

All I can say is that my life is pretty plain
ya don't like my point of view
ya think I'm insane
Its not sane...it's not sane.

Selection

maybe it’s not what we see tattooed across the faces of our friends

that makes us realize we aren’t the same.

maybe it’s what we find inside our minds

behind our eyes

not in plain sight for people to stare.

this is one of those many lyrical phrases that creep inside my head.

i hope you enjoy them as much as i do.

just a comment

my inspiration picture as of 18 may 2008: my shoes and the word hey.

i went to see speed racer on may 9th. my group of friends and i had to wait outside for the rest of everyone to arrive. i was walking around when the ground said "hey" to me. i thought it was one of the coolest things i've seen, so i took a picture.

for those who love my shoes as much as i do:

converse. blue stars painted with glow in the dark nail polish on the toes. coloured sharpie on the sides. unique. part of my awesomeness collection that completes me.

passage

tomorrow i will be sixteen years of age for a week. it is terrifying.
where did my life go?
where is yours going?
stop. life. still.

the life of fools

5 may 2008
monday first period

the life of fools

i've become this person
in my mind
in others' eyes
now i can't stand myself

the time i waste is gone
my life is going faster
i'm falling through the cracks
of society's failure

walking stranded
empty
alone
watching the pictures
people
places
pass into space unknown

senses numb
eyes closed
striving toward a hopeless
destination

vanity makes fools
but only fools are vain

Difference, Divergence, With It All

i decided to place the picture of the pepsi can as my "inspiration" not because i need it to live (which i don't in the slightest) but because of the creativity it displays. i wonder who designs the art on the cans. do they know they have non-pepsi-drinking admirers? my guess would be no. some artists are so unappreciated for the beauty they create. i'm not talking about the "misunderstood" group of artists. they make themselves difference on purpose. i'm talking about the people who design the small things. pepsi cans, album covers, make-up ads, two-pocket folders and office supplies, jewelry. sure, these people are paid for what they do. but there is a difference between getting paid and being appreciated.

that one movie.

last night i watched a movie on the cw. it was called "she's all that." the plot was similar to that of "10 things i hate about you." there are a few reasons i loved this movie, and the plot was NOT one of them...

number one: FREDDIE PRINZE JR.
i went to the tv, not knowing what i was going to watch that evening at seven o'clock. i pressed the power button and my eyes were greeted with the best surprise in the whole world: freddie prinze jr.'s face. it was seriously meant to happen just like that. so i sat down to enjoy the movie only because of freddie prinze jr.'s face.

number two: PAUL WALKER
this man is the love of my life and he doesn't even know it. freddie prinze jr. was obviously not enough gorgeousness for this movie so they had to have paul walker as his best friend. i am very glad they made that decision. when paul walker came into the scene, i gasped out loud to a living room full of no one, "AHH THAT'S PAUL WALKER!!" in some sense, i'm glad no one was in the living room with me, watching me drool. it was an unhealthy sight.

number three: 1999
that is the date of the movie. the characters were in high school. at their prom, the king and queen of 1999 were announced. the king was definitely freddie prinze jr. the date itself just made me laugh.

those are all the reasons. i like the first two best.

product of spanish class.

please understand that my spanish class is not unbearable. actually, i enjoy learning spanish. it is a fact that every 2-5 seconds your mind loses focus on whatever it is you are supposed to be focusing on. i fit this pattern: wandering minds that like to entertain themselves. this picture is the product of today's wandering. some said that it looks like a dragon. i never intended this to happen. it turned out like that. there have been other ones that surpass this one in excellence, but i forgot to take pictures of them.

a fact about me.

i love fizzy pop incense. i was first introduced to it at the paper moon in branson, mo. my heart was shattered when i used my last one. but while i was in flagstaff, co over the summer, i found another little shop that had fizzy pop incense!! i was so teeming with joy!!

Shattered Like Glass

In the beginning of the universe, there is darkness and dwelling in the darkness is Chaos. Chaos is the harsh ruler of the stars in the sky who covets all the light. Now in the midst of the stars, there is one star the others proclaim to have greatness. This great star, called Dà qǐ

[1], slowly gains power and fights against Chaos until Chaos is destroyed. Dà qǐ becomes the emperor, keeper of the light, and the stars are free to flourish and fill the night. The feeling of loneliness begins to set upon Dà qǐ; he is great and longs for another to share in his greatness. Dà qǐ forms a sphere from the milieu of the universe and names the sphere Sun. Sun serves as an excellent companion to the great ruler of the stars.

Then, Dà qǐ realizes there is no way to spread light through the universe, and all the stars are enveloped in darkness. Again, Dà qǐ takes from the universe and creates a sphere to which he gives the name Moon. This beautiful sphere receives the gift of soft light from Dà qǐ. Moon allows her light to glow upon the stars, and Dà qǐ is pleased. He is so full of delight that he creates yet another sphere, this one being smaller, and places it in the void open space. “This Earth is a gift for Moon,” Dà qǐ explains, “so she will never disregard the importance of her light.” The Moon assures Dà qǐ that she will always care for her Earth.

Now the Sun has become immensely jealous of the gifts Moon has received. He expresses his anger towards Dà qǐ by stealing all Dà qǐ’s light. The Sun convinces a group of stars to rebel with him against Dà qǐ and use the light to their advantage. The Moon suggests to Dà qǐ that he should not use force; she says it would be an advantage to use natural weapons of self control and tranquility to gain peace. In the midst of the fray, the Sun has a clear path to attack Dà qǐ. Sun swings a giant bludgeon and shatters Dà qǐ into minuscule pieces, like the breaking of glass. Moon shines her beautiful light towards the Sun to temporarily blind him while several stars bind him with powerful rope.

The remnants of Dà qǐ gently float to the Earth’s surface followed closely by the sorrowful Moon. When the pieces come in contact with the ground, they transform into beautiful nature; some pieces sprout roots and branches with leaves, others expand and harden in immense sizes. As Moon witnesses this transformation, tears come flowing from her and form a river in the Earth. When she notices two rather large fragments of the once Great Star that are not transformed, Moon dips the pieces into the river of her tears and directs her light onto them. As her light mirrors off the pieces, they beam with life. The first piece to receive life is called man. Man is harsh to the land upon which he stands; this makes Moon upset for she had promised Dà qǐ the Earth’s care. When the second piece is full of life, Moon calls the piece woman. Woman calms man and teaches him to respect the Earth. Moon tells man and woman to refer to the transformed pieces with branches and leaves as trees and the immense hardened pieces as mountains. Moon also instructs them to guard what has been created from Dà qǐ’s remains.

After Moon returns to the spacious universe, the stars, which were once under the reign of Dà qǐ, declare Moon as the Queen of their Night. Sun, however, is condemned by the stars and forced to carry the light over the Earth for all eternity. Moon assures the stars that she will always light the night, except once every so often when she is visiting man and woman on Earth and is not visible in the sky. From then on, Moon pleasurably shines her soft, beautiful light upon the Earth and brings it peace.

[1] Dà qǐ is Chinese (traditional) for “great star”



i wrote this creation story for my world literature class on september 24th, 2007.

Straining of the Mind.

Third period religion class. I sat quietly with my classmates. The Knowledge told us to clear our desks of everything. "Answer this question," he said. "What is real? How do you know?"

I hate those questions.

Of course he challenges us on purpose, and I don't mind it in the least. But there is something about answering questions like these that makes me furious. It might be the fact that I am human. Let me explain my reasoning.

In answering those first questions, I thought of the concept of time. What is it? Who decided it was going to be as it is? Why should I have to follow it? Time is just all. It is a continuous thread. There is no night and day. Or years or hours.
Then I begin to think of society as a human. Humans have this urge to suction themselves to structure. Our lives must be this way. This should be like this. You should look like this. You must follow this. This is how it must be. Or what? Or we die.
Not likely.
Humans are so incredibly dependent on everything to live. What if I didn't look at a clock for an entire day. Guess what. I don't believe I would die.
I sat at my desk not defining what is real. I defined what is not real.
I came to this conclusion:

Our lives are not real. Our world is not real. My thoughts are not real. If they are, then who says so?

These questions stretch my limits.

Today Is Winter

the clouds were beautiful. the temperature was fair. a light breeze was blowing through my hair. so i decided to take a picture.

all pictures taken by jem on 14 march 2008.

Current Songs of NOW

these are the cds that are currently playing in my stereo.

1. samoas (a mix by jem):
don't call it a comeback: motion city soundtrack: i am the movie
here it goes again: ok go: oh no
teenagers: my chemical romance: the black parade
make out kids: motion city soundtrack: commit this to memory
time of dying: three days grace: one x
boombox generation: motion city soundtrack: i am the movie
over & over: three days grace: one x
somebody told me: the killers: hot fuss
suddenly i see: kt tunstall: eye to the telescope
pain: three days grace: one x
riot: three days grace: one x
everything is alright: motion city soundtrack: commit this to memory
somewhere i belong: linkin park: meteora
the future freaks me out: motion city soundtrack: i am the movie
mr. brightside: the killers: hot fuss
kryptonite: 3 doors down: the better life
lips of an angel: hinder: extreme behavior
99 red balloons: goldfinger: the best of goldfinger

2. three days grace: three days grace

3. sum 41: underclass hero

4. the academy is...: almost here. AND. cute is what we aim for: the same old blood rush with a new touch

5. green day: warning

The Questioning

what are the days that take us away and make us feel like we are invincible. who are we to say that we know everything and are indestructible? we are strong, never broken, always together.
we are one with ourselves.
one with the Earth.
one with the Earth.
we are the Earth.
we are of the Earth.
the Earth compliments us. its beauty is indescribable. the color is green. peace. we speak of it. when will it come? when will it come and remain. within our grasp.
inconceivable notions are all that drift through the mouths of our leaders. who are they? the leaders. who says that these people know how to heal a broken world if they themselves were never whole in the first place.
no one.
no one says this.
we are left to defend ourselves against the people, not the nature, that we come from.
the Earth is peace.
a hidden peace.
waiting to be uncovered. to see the light of day before the sun dies. because the sun will die someday. it will die and we will be in darkness.
do we fear the darkness? some do. others don't. they think they can handle it.
they can't handle it.
we know not what we are. and much less of where we are going. where are we going?
tell me.
tell my brother and my sister.
tell the Earth.
we deserve to know.

The Less Serious Me

so don't hold me up now!! i can stand my own ground!! i don't need your help now!! you will let me down down down!! so don't hold me up now!! i can stand my own ground!! i don't need your help now!! you will let me down down down!!

prayer of the refugee: rise aganist

this song really gets me going.

Lunar Eclipse

this is my attempt to capture the beauty that is the moon and the sun together. this picture was the best of those taken.

Favourite Guitar Hero III Songs

3's and 7's: Queens of the Stone Age
Prayer of the Refugee: Rise Aganist
Lay Down: Priestess
Welcome to the Jungle: Guns N' Roses

Striken: Disturbed

Story of my Life: Social Distortion

When We Were Young: The Killers

Don't Hold Back: The Sleeping

Sunshine of Your Love: Cream

Miss Murder: AFI

F.C.P.R.E.M.I.X: Fall of Troy

Guitar Hero = L.I.F.E.

I Know Why I Am Young

i awoke at 9 am on February 16th, 2008. in other words, i woke up and was filled with so much excitement that i could hardly breathe. that night i would be going to a dance. a long awaited dance. my dress was red. i paced myself by painting my nails, hands and toes. the colour: fire! fire! red. the next few hours were spent wandering around my house. talking with my friends. they are the best of company.

i began to get ready around 2 pm. i took a shower. washed my hair. cleaned my face. the dress was saved for last. before putting it on however, my feet carried me down the street to assist my friend in the choosing of her dress for the evening. my friend is myFACE. returning home, i put on my dress. it made me feel invincible, beautiful and on top of the world. when i get dressed to go somewhere special, i have a particular routine. there is a playlist on my itunes that is titled "off the wall." this playlist contains 25 songs that make me happy, excited, full of energy. i listen to the music and dance like no one is watching (because no one is watching).

myFACE walked to my house. we were dressed and ready to leave. pictures were taken. my mother drove us 25 minutes to another house. this house belonged to bubble. bubble was hosting a pre-dance party for those who were planning to join our excitement. the total was fifteen: eleven girls and four boys. there were only two girls with dates. the rest of us were going as a group. everyone spoke and ate and laughed. then it was time for our departure.

our party was one of the first to arrive at the dance. those awkward first moments just standing, mingling, and screaming hello to acquaintances. but not to worry. the gym filled quickly.

allow me to explain my thoughts on dances:
the music is a story in its own. i am not a fan of rap. the dj did a particularly good job of the music selection though. there was an even balance between the rap and the classic dance songs: cotton-eye joe, don't stop believein', shout. i was also very pleased to hear holiday by green day.

i go for the atmosphere. the people. the behavior. the faces. i go for feeling of not being able to breathe. running outside only to freeze. getting jumping cramps and sore calves. losing my shoes in a conga line. screaming at the top of my lungs. holding my hands above my head with my eyes closed.
i go to see the happiness in those around me. familiar faces.

the last song of the night was shout. i was very appeased. at one point i was on my back completely flat on the ground. the night was only enhanced by the pouring rain as we ran back to our cars. we drove back to bubble's house in a daze of exhaustion and being slap-happy. i was victim to both.

we had been told by the boys that they were planning something for us. first i must explain something: three of the boys play guitar and are in a band. the girls were asked to wait in the basement. nanna came into the room wearing a black curly-haired wig, a white mask, and a kfc chicken bucket on his head. he looked ridiculous. he was handed his guitar. it was obvious that he couldn't see very well because of the mask. nanna played for us. I LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT. it was all improvisation. after he changed out of the ridiculousness, the boys had to leave bubble's house. by now, it was after 12 am.

along with four other girls, i spent the night at bubble's house. we watched 10 things i hate about you. and fell asleep one by one. i was the last to close my eyes. but before i did. i sat still and thought of my night. the people i had met. the things i had seen. the noise i heard. the way i smiled. the way i felt. these are the memories.

Sultry Night

They speak of hot summer nights
Hands clasped and deep breaths
Sultry wind on the faces of innocence
Love is born

Streetlights glow with shadows follow
The sensation of an embrace
Takes away the words of one
The other smiles

Stars and moon
Shine bright and strong
Beauty is of the night
In more ways than one

Time shared is fragile
Moments will end soon
Memories they will become
Until next meet

Thoughts will linger
On those summer nights
Eyes locked in longing
To stay forever


this poem was written to express the feelings i felt for another person. the summer of august 2007.

Scattered Complexion

the following are phrases that once came beautifully into my mind. they were never complete or finished. they simply sounded nice.


Be your dreams
Even though it seems
Unreal


rigid minds. sleepless eyes.
are what befall the ones with
impatience


Why do I waste my time
Counting, Recalling
Moments I will never find?

Why Us? Why the World?

this is a persuasive essay i wrote regarding global warming. you are my audience.


Have you ever accidentally broken something valuable that belonged to your best friend? The guilt you feel is awful, and now you are frantically thinking of a way to make it up to her. You ask yourself, ‘How am I supposed to replace something with such meaning?’ You go outside to take a breath of fresh air, but while sitting on your porch, you realize the temperature feels different. It’s the middle of winter, and it’s 70 degrees. You look up at the stars, but only a few are clearly visible. You think, ‘Oh it’s just the weather,’ and go back inside. The problem is this: The weather changes and light pollution are both a part of global warming. Not only do we need to realize there is a global catastrophe threatening our existence, but we must also do something about it. Global warming is not freak spontaneous occurrence; it is a problem we have brought upon ourselves through disregard of our environment. I use the word “we” because this crisis was not caused by one single person. It was caused by all humanity.

Before we clean up our mess, we must understand what exactly we have done wrong. Many actions we perform every day have effects that result in one main cause of global warming. Carbon dioxide and other gases are released from simple things such as driving our cars and turning on a lamp. These gases naturally warm the surface of the planet by trapping solar heat in the atmosphere. The result is referred to as the greenhouse effect. This should be considered a good effect because it keeps the Earth warm and habitable. Nevertheless, we have abused the good nature of this process by generating excess greenhouse gases. The outcome is simple: temperatures are rising and polar ice caps are melting. Some people may think, “Well that is just too bad for the polar bears,” but the melting ice affects humans just as strongly. As the ice melts, ocean water levels rise. If this continues, many areas of largely populated land, such as California and the United Kingdom, will be under water. John Houghton, the co-chair of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, comments, “Global warming is now a weapon of mass destruction.” Our effects on the world have the potential to be more destructive than any type of war.

Another main cause of global warming, as said by NASA scientists Michael D. Mastrandrea and Stephen H. Schneider, is the destruction and clearing of our beautiful forests. God, of course, was very intelligent when He created trees and plants with the purpose of taking in what we put out. As we cut down these trees, there is less intake of carbon dioxide from the environment, so the gas is discarded into our once uncontaminated atmosphere. Also, when forests are cleared away, many natural habitats are destroyed. According to conservation biologist, Chris Thomas, from National Geographic, the lack of these habitats will most likely lead to the extinction of many species by the year 2050. Is this truly the way to handle a beautiful gift? What is the environment in the first place but a gift from God?

Have you ever thought about life on Earth after you’re gone? What about the lives of your children? Many times I have thought about these things. It sickens me to consider the hardships in the lives of my potential children and grandchildren. I am not sure I want to bring new life into this world because I would feel guilty for leaving it with to deal with this. This is our world. It is not something we can just throw away or leave for someone else to take care of. We damaged it and we are the ones who need to repair the damage.

You may be thinking how. How are we supposed to repair the damage? Hopefully none of you are thinking about going home and never using electricity again because that is just irrational. It would be impossible to completely discontinue all carbon dioxide emissions, but there are so many effortless ways to alter our actions. Unplugging things when you are not using them and turning off lights when you aren’t in the room are ways to conserve electricity that take literally two seconds. The only effort needed is the lifting of a finger. According to Rany Aker and Cindy Putnam from the Heath Goods website, most families pay between $280 and $310 for water heating every year. Your water heater uses more electricity than almost every other appliance in your house! Shorter showers are a very good idea.

Lastly, I’m sure all of you have been told to recycle at one point or another, but you might not have been told why it’s important. Our trash is discarded into landfills that are filling up fast. Many solids such as plastic and metal take a long time to decompose. Meanwhile, we are consuming things, such as water from plastic bottles, at such a rate that our trash cannot catch up! Recycling is not in the least bit difficult. All you need to do is find a place where you can take your items to be recycled.

I know all of these methods of repair are easy because I’ve done them all myself. I admit to being reluctant when I first heard all the hype about “being green.” I didn’t know what any of it meant or why I should care. As you can see, I know more now. I became interested because I realized our world is NOT going to last forever. What if the valuable item you broke was the environment? Now you know ways to make it up to your friend. It is your responsibility to repair the damage.


Cited Information
Guardian Unlimited. 2007. Guardian News and Media Limited. 7 October 2007

NASA. Mastrandrea, Michael D., and Stephen H. Schneider. "Global warming." World Book Online Reference Center. 2005. World Book, Inc. 7 October 2007

National Geographic. 1996-2007 National Geographic Society. 26 September 2007

http://www.healthgoods.com/education/Healthy_Home_Information/Water_Conservation/hot_water_conservation.htm

Excellent Techno-ish Goodness Music

Cobrastyle: Teddybears
Le Disko: Shiny Toy Guns
Get Ready To Rokk: Freezepop
Seven Nation Army: The White Stripes
Hundreds and Hundreds of Thousands: Peachcake

more or less, this is music. and all curtsey of my friend, sunbeam.
drinking tea. waiting shy. small talk. music. superfluous paraphernalia.
that's life.

Favourite Songs of Later Moments

I Believe in a Thing Called Love: The Darkness
Ballroom Blitz: The Sweet
Pour Some Sugar on Me: Def Leppard
Here I Go Again: White Snake

and here is a song that owns the title "best song ever"

SWEET CHILD O' MINE: GUNS N' ROSES
this is one of those songs i turn up really really loud any time it's on. i can definitely listen to it on repeat (times infinity).



and congratulations to me because i can now play hard on guitar hero.

4 DAYS. LOST IS COMING. GET READY.

the half moon shows a face of plaintive sweetness.

The half moon shows a face of plaintive sweetness
Ready and poised to wax or wane;

A fire of pale desire in incompleteness,
Tending to pleasure or to pain:-

Lo, while we gaze she rolleth on in fleetness
To perfect loss or perfect gain.

Half bitterness we know, we know half sweetness;
This world is all on wax, on wane:

When shall completeness round time's incompleteness,
Fulfilling joy, fulfilling pain?-

Lo, while we ask, life rolleth on in fleetness
To finished loss or finished gain.

by: Christina Rossetti


This selection perfectly captures the view of the moon through the eyes of mine. I enjoy reading it from time to time. Falling back on the words that whisper from the pages. All so true and convincing. I wish you may enjoy it as well.

Hate Lines of BOREDOM

The classes that are strictly taking notes from a teacher talking in circles while those people called your pupils poke fun at the inconsistency of the class are the WORST. The teacher giving a break is an unheard of thought traveling through listless minds forced to absorb information. Desperate attempts to make our blood circulate again are sought after. One such attempt is a simple task in disguise: blowing the nose on your face. Feels like floating, as air reaches the underneath of our skirts. The Relief is wonderful.

The teacher takes discipline never. It is the quiet ones who suffer the droning voices of the outspoken fools. Once every thirteen classes we may possibly receive the inconceivable break from the monotony. We become animals and do not know what to do with ourselves as the change to breathe air again is so nonchalantly handed to us. Our bodies are entangled in our limbs as we rush to reach the door. “Few at a time,” mumbles the voice that causes such chaos. The unlucky ones must return to their pieces of metal and plastic fashioned as a “desk,” as the fortunate smirk.

The clock on the wall is a common rendezvous of the eyes. We have better places to be and better things to do with the time we call our life. At each glance, the miniscule second hand moves its slowest. Looking anywhere but the main focus of the room, otherwise known as a slate of board nailed to the wall, causes one to notice things. Those cracks are uneven. The colours are awful.

Our attention is called to scribble down the homework we will never even look at, let alone think about. These classes are even more torturing when they occur as the end of seven hours called a school day. They last forever, with no hope of rescue or escape in sight. We are stranded in a world of unknown meaning.

this was written in geometry class while i was persistently not doing my geometry homework.

ATTENTION:

LOST IS COMING. 21 DAYS.

The return is Thursday, January 31st on ABC.


Just a little recap of the past three seasons:



CHARLIE PACE IS THE BEST CHARACTER. HE WILL FOREVER LIVE IN MY HEART. Jack thinks he loves Juliet but he actually loves Kate who thinks she in return loves Jack but has entangled herself in Sawyer's body on multiple occasions because all Sawyer wants is sex. Locke is an absurd, could be diagnosed as insane, man who will inevitably save everyone from the island, not everyone from the people who are going to kill them. I bet Locke is a Taurus. Hurley is hurley and he will always be hurley. Sayid is NOT a terrorist. Boone should not have died in the first season because he had the most beautiful eyes. Claire's story line was over mid-second season. And Claire knows she's in love with Charlie (because who can resist?) Desmund..."Brother." Am I forgetting anyone? OOOH YES. All those extras that are always there and never do anything. Don't be fooled, they are not important. But wait, what about those two survivors Nikki and Paulo? Yes, them. They enjoyed the season three limelight for...two episodes was it? Then there is the elusive cloud of black smoke. It will be the end of season 64 when we finally know what it is!

But, I must tell the truth:
LOST, with all its plot flaws and lame attempts at surprising revival, is my favourite show.

another note.

oooh yes and i forgot to mention...

happy 2008 and all of that.

the occasion doesn't really deserve the attention, it being just another year in my monotonous life. i hope you have more to live for!!

i have a few "of-the-year" items i would like to share also.

book: HAIRSTYLES OF THE DAMNED joe meno
movie: THE PRESTIGE
scent: WILD HONEYSUCKLE
element: EARTH (of course)
band: GOOD CHARLOTTE
TV show: LOST
drink: ANY TEVANA TEA
resturant: P. F. CHANGS
day: THE DAY BEFORE MY BIRHTDAY
vacation: LAS VEGAS, NEVADA
shoes: VANS

song of the moment.

song: WAR ON SOUND.

artist: MOONBABIES.

album: MOONBABIES AT THE BALLROOM.

genre: POP.

I bought this song off of iTunes. I found the band in the indies section and decided to explore and expand my library. This is one of those songs that I can listen to on repeat for at least an hour.

I AM NO LONGER GOOD-MUSIC DEPRIVED.